As many of you know, Kathleen passed away a few weeks ago on December 10th. I,
her son John, created this blog and helped her manage it, hence the URL. I'd like to share my father's reflections from the funeral, and a few closing thoughts.
In the past week and a half, so many people have written or spoken to me about Kathleen. I want to share some of the words and phrases that give a sense of all the beautiful things people think of her:
Expertise, integrity, and compassion
Tireless work ethic
An incisive mind and a wry and constant sense of humor
Brilliant and ethical
A role model, professionally and personally
This woman was a rock star
Talking with her always made me want to up my conversational game
Couldn’t be nicer, smarter, or more caring
Patient and nurturing
Kind and wise
Endlessly confident
Loved her sons for themselves
Having had her in my life is worth the pain I feel now
I want you to know that I take great comfort in these words because they demonstrate that people truly knew her in all her aspects, and that she was genuinely the same person with all of us, brilliant and compassionate. Because we knew her true self, we carry her with us, and she’s not gone, but an ongoing part of us.
After being hopelessly in love with her for over 30 years, I knew her probably better than anyone else ever, and I am so blessed to have had her in my life, and to carry her in my heart for the remainder of it.
I wrote something about Kathleen, too, when I woke up the first morning after she had died. I think it augments what you already know about her, and I’d like to share those words with you now.
I got to see her vulnerability, her fears, her uncertainty,
How deeply and sometimes painfully she cared and loved,
How shortcomings, regrets, and injuries stayed with her
And spurred her to become an even better, deeper person.
She was a force, but not like a landslide or a jet engine;
She was like sunshine or a flower growing and finding a way
To spread something beautiful and meaningful quietly,
So that over time you realize how having her in your life
Has made you a better person, for yourself and also toward others.
She was my best friend and she was my hero.
Goodbye, Honey. (Mi flor pequeña.)
I'd like to thank you all for your continued support through my mom's diagnosis and treatment. This has been a difficult time for our family, and the support we've received in letters, messages, and emails has made a big difference. I'm notified every time someone leaves a comment on these blog posts, and I'd love to hear the unique ways that she made an impact for those of you who follow the blog.
John Kelley
Kathleen's wit, her frustrations, and the hope conveyed in her blog throughout her journey was so inspirational and moving. We truly thought she would make it. We prayed for months for Kathleen's healing and for the strength her men would surely need by her side. Little did we know that strength was going to be needed by the ton. It was such a shock to hear of her passing that Sunday. We will never forget her and we hold your family in our hearts and prayers as you miss her and mourn her passing. Her legacy will be forever - as she lives on in all of you.
I miss her. I had a minor legal question and I immediately thought to email her. I think of her often. I think of her kindness. I think of her sense of humor. I STILL haven't come up with a joke about her funeral (i.e. something around there being so many lawyers all in a church at the same time). She would have come up with something funny/witty within a min.
I hope you all are hanging in here. There are a lot of firsts in your future. First New Years without her tonight, first Christmas without her behind you. Next year will challenging, but she would have wanted you to live your best lives. She wanted nothing but…
What strikes me about Kathleen is how good she was at being a mom, a wife, and a family member. She was fiercely devoted and kind. She noticed ways to help and did them without being asked or expecting thanks. She did the right thing. I miss her. The world and our family are poorer for her loss.